John and Kobby are active, long-standing members of the same church. In the course of time they started dating two choristers, in an open courtship with the approval of the whole church.
Unfortunately, within two years of dating, both men came to the disturbing realisation that they didn’t love the ladies they were dating. Meanwhile their wedding date was fast approaching and they were set to wed on the same day. The men were now faced with a dilemma.
Should they go ahead with the wedding knowing that they did not love their women? Or should they break the engagement and call off the wedding?
They knew the consequences of walking away from the wedding, among other things, would be ostracisation from the church. It wouldn’t go down well with the church.
John decided that he could not deal with being ostracized by the church and resolved to go ahead with the wedding. Kobby on the other hand decided that it was not fair to the lady for him to go ahead and marry her when he knew he didn’t love her. He did the unthinkable and broke off the engagement and called off the wedding. And as expected he was blacklisted and made to resign his position as the leader of the youth fellowship. His disappointed lady took the break very badly and it took a miracle to get there to pick up the pieces and get on with her life. John on the other hand was applauded for going through with the wedding.
Question: Which of the two men did what was right? John
who married a girl he knew he could never make happy or Kobby, who seeing that
he could not make the girl happy, called off the wedding?
Ten years after the incident John is still married to the girl but is cheating
on her and making her very miserable. Kobby however left the country when the
condemnation became too much for him and I have lost contact with him. But the
lady he disappointed is now married to a man who adores and fulfils her.
It often takes courage and strength of character to do what is right.
Sometimes love means taking tough decisions; turning your back or saying no.The love that doesn’t and can’t do this isn’t love at all.
Source: Uncle Ebo Whyte
