One major mistake young and older people make these days regarding marriage is that they marry for the wrong reasons.
Research has shown that marriages that end under 6 months and up to 24 months after they have been contracted are as a result of the “wrong reason” rather than the “wrong person.”
Ultimately, no one can be described as the “wrong person for another person” unless we assume that one is the right person and the other is the wrong person; thus “wrong person to right person” won’t work.
But it is not necessarily so because a “wrong person” married to a “right person” has a higher propensity to work or last a little longer than two “wrong persons” and two “right persons” marrying each other.
But let’s leave the scholarship of the subject for now and focus on the social aspects because this is where the point of departure points to “Wrong reasons” and “right Reasons.”
There is a right reason for marriage and there are many wrong reasons for marriage.
For example, if you go and marry someone with whom you should have had just a “one-night stand”, that marriage would end within months. Araa akwuo has its place in the meeting of a man and a woman; don’t stretch it beyond that or you will have stories to tell for the rest of your life.
Further, if you married someone because they helped you in life, that marriage would most likely be doomed before it gets started; especially when you no longer have any help to offer.
If you marry because you feel you are of age, or that age is no longer on your side or because you are pregnant, etc., the probability of divorce or unhappy marriage becomes rooted from day one because signs of desperation will ruin the joy.
If you marry someone because the person will take you abroad, you will have married your “travel agent.” When you arrive at your destination, you will come to see no further need for marriage.
If you married someone because they have a good job, you will have married for “financial security.” Any day he or she loses that job, the marriage will begin to struggle.
If you married someone because they are generous and “not stingy” and because they spend on you, it means you are marrying your philanthropist. Any day he or she stops paying, you will begin to resent them.
If you married someone because they started a business for you, you will have married your business lender. If you become financially independent and your business is going well, their attraction to you will begin to reduce.
If you married someone because they are beautiful and well shaped, you will have married for your pleasure (but not for their own pleasure). Any day “see finish” enters your eyes, you will begin to look elsewhere. Do not marry because she is too sweet or because she knows how to do it. No, be you first see am. Besides, the beautiful ones are not yet born and that is why you will leave your supermodel wife at some point to sleep with your maid; just for one round o. So, where is the beauty you married for?
If you go and marry someone because of the size of their preek, have you tried Atiku? If you marry Ngozi because her Coconut dance is the best you have experienced. Ebewuuu. Well, have you met Ihuoma who showed Ngozi the way to swing it for you? I am sure you want to try Ihuoma too.
If you married someone because they sent you to school and paid your school fees, you will have married your scholarship or academic sponsor. Once they graduate, your relevance to them is likely to end too.
If you married someone because you want to start having children, you will have married a baby mama or baby father rather than a wife or a husband; and definitely not a companion. That is when you will start hearing things like “I and the kids can do without you” or “I am staying because of the kids.”
Marrying under these conditions suggests some form of “que pro quo” with no real connection or roots to sustain the marriage.
Marriage is not an instrument of gratitude with which to express appreciation for a favour received.
That you paid someone’s school fees, brought them abroad, bought them a car, a house, or even give them belle is not a reason to marry them.
The reason to marry and remain married is that you have found a companion with whom you happen to share the same worldview and with whom you are ready to construe life in a positive light to the benefit of your union with them.
Source: Mybrytnewsroom.com/Kwabena Nyarko Abronoma
