Dear Husband,
My candid opinion of the letter, it seemed that all you were saying was: “I am a man and I insist on loving you as a man whether you as a woman recognizes it as love or not.” My dear, I may be wrong but that is what your letter communicated to me. Now, let me pick the issues you raised one by one.
1. Men say I-Love-You with their actions, not words. When we were courting, you used to say you loved me every day. Were you not a man then? Our grandfathers did not say I love you to their wives because their marriages were arranged, not based on love and they didn’t court. In our times we are free to court and woo. How then can you insist on operating as your grandfather did in his day? Ours is an arranged marriage. You wooed me, chased me, courted me, went to great extents to win my heart and sweep me off my feet. Having done that, you now revert to the easy argument that men don’t say ‘I love you; they only show it?! Come again, my dear. I don’t find it acceptable. I do appreciate your actions of love but without words, they are not complete. My school mate puts it this way “Men love with their eyes, women love with their ears.”
2. I get upset that you do not notice when I do my hair. Are you not the same man who noticed every little detail about me when we were courting? How come you can notice and comment on the dressing and hair-do of other women but not mine? Meanwhile, your friends and my male colleagues notice my hair do and my dressing and compliment me on them regularly. Do you know how it feels when every man you meet compliments your looks; your dressing and your hair do but the one man whose opinion means the world to you says, “As for me, I cannot see”?
3. My birthday. My dear, listen, birthdays are a big deal with me but that does not mean I expect an extravaganza every time. No. A simple card or even just a kiss or any verbal acknowledgement of the day will do.
4. “No chatting with me because the TV news is my important”. I know you didn’t say that exactly but that is how it hit me. Please how long does the TV news last? How come that sometimes for a whole evening you don’t say one word to me and you don’t make yourself available for a chat?
Now that I have responded to your points, let me answer the real issue that provoked your letter.
Source: Uncle Ebo Whyte
